I hope.

09:06:00

  


 I lied down there on the corner of the bed, like an idiot. Tears streamed down my face,I took my phone and checked the time, it was 2:00 AM. I know you are fast asleep, with another woman. Every time you leave me like that,my longing for you increases. I simply do not know what is wrong with me. I slapped myself, not knowing if this craving for you is good or bad.

  I stared at the picture ,'our picture' , for a long time.

  You held me in your arms so close to you, I felt your hot breath on me. You made me feel so loved. I was tangled in you that afternoon, when we shared our first kiss. Every time our lips met, you gave me butterflies. It felt like millions of them kept wandering inside me.The stupid girl hormones in me, gave birth to millions more of them. I so loved you. The way you made me feel like a child in your arms. Every time I surrendered myself to you, it was amazing. 

  Again an emotional disrupt, I am so stupid. Why could I not stop thinking about you? Why did you cast a spell on me? I so am spell-bound. Why do you love me? And why do you act like you don't care? Why do am I so addicted to you?. I just wasn't able to rescue my mind from questioning me. I miss you.

  We were so in love with each other, there were a million sparks around us. Why does it feel like a lifeless melody now? We were so in sync back then, but not anymore. 

I miss the good times. This is not what I wanted. I cannot let you take over me anymore. 

You just make me fall in love, and walk away. You aren't there when I need you.

It hurts. 

 As I wiped my tears, I decided to let go of you. I'm not your paid slave, to please you when you want me to. I'm a woman, a brave one. I cannot let you conquer me.

It's lust, you lusted on me. I am a fool. 

I gathered some courage, and decided to end it right here, right now. 

I hate myself, I hate you.I wasn't sure if this was right. But I was sure of one thing, you I don't want you in my life. Tears streamed down my cheek, my vision got blurred. I wiped my eyes, and started typing. 

I wish you still made me love you, like you did before.The spark is long lost. I cannot take this anymore. I don't want to see myself hurt. I am sure you are pretty happy now. Thank you for wrecking my self esteem all this while. You don't have the chance to do it anymore. My life is short, I want it to be spent with someone worthy. Have a happy life. Goodbye. 

I hope that conveyed all that I wanted to tell him. I would want to erase these memories, and never see him again. I'm done. 

I was fast asleep.

The next morning, I was about to start my life afresh.  

I resigned my job. Moved to a new city. Now I am about to make fresh memories.

The past is just another little chapter in my life, that just ended. I'm smiling now. 

Sometimes you might just fall for the wrong person, life becomes a skeptical play. It becomes meaningless and painful. For sometimes in life, you might just want to move on. And replace the old memories with new ones. Somewhere in the bottom of our hearts we might hope that, someday the castles we build, the dreams we dream, might just come true. It is never too wrong to hope. I hope to look at a better me. My life has taught me lessons. I've learnt from my mistakes. 
I hope.


                                  This is purely a work of fiction. September Love! :D 

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8 comments

  1. Life sure teaches us lessons ! It is the biggest teacher and we should come out of the mistakes stronger !
    thanks harshini for visiting my blog :)
    My best wishes to u

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure does! :D Thank you Afshan for your kind words :D

      Delete
  2. We should always Hope for the Best no matter how bad is the situation at least that will give us strength to move on...
    And wasting our Time for the One that don't deserve it doesn't really make sense...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. I dunno why you decided to wish me :P it was a work of fiction :O

      Delete
  4. LOL :D felt very real to me :p except for the end part.. I loved it anyway :) <3 <3 I always enjoy reading your blog ^_^ although I can never anything about us fantastic four :p

    ReplyDelete

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